How can we minimise drama in relationships?

Aug 4, 2022·6 min

Trying to control someone else very often leaves you more restless. You might experience an illusion of control and victory, but it is unlikely that you will feel peaceful within.

Drama could occur in relationships for many reasons. Let’s say it is about wanting to control the other person or to gain attention or importance from them. “Do not try to control the other person” is sound advice, but the problem occurs not usually because you are unaware of that advice, but because you are unable to implement it.

Sometimes, when you think about it, you might even feel guilty about not being able to control yourself. Drama happens not because your mind is evil. The reason is much simpler than that. It happens because your mind is untrained. If you train it in the right direction, it will change.

You probably have been out of touch with yourself perhaps because you spend too much time looking outside and very little or no time looking inward. This keeps your focus on the outside world, rather than focusing on your world within. 

You try to control the other person because you wish to feel that you are important. When you focus inward and think about how you can live a life that leads to a more peaceful mind, you start to realise that your actions while creating the drama are probably not making you very peaceful. Trying to control someone else very often leaves you more restless. You might experience an illusion of control and victory, but it is unlikely that you will feel peaceful within.

Focusing on peace of mind as your ultimate objective can change everything. As you start paying more attention to your every action and evaluate it in that light - does this increase my peace of mind or decrease it - you will find many doors open that you never knew existed.